I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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