My room smells like vodka and shame
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
