Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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