You're completely useless in the revolution.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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