I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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