Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i just google imaged poop.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
