Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
bring money and cleavage
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
