I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
