I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
