Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He better not be in your backpack
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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