you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
