I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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