I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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