i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
