so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
