the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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