I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
