Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
