OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
