Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
