seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
