We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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