you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
