You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
