so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
