she was so not down for the gang bang
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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