What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
