my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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