Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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