I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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