6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
