when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
