I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
