Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
