called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
we should paint friendship bongs
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