I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
