Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
