You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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