Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
her vagine was all disorganized.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
