I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm eating all of the evidence.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It's never too late to be topless.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
