our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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