i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
