Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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