i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
