we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
