K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
