How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
