shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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