i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
