You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Sext me about skeletons
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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