okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
