I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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